Established bloggers and internet columnists sometimes do a thing where they ask their readership to ask questions and then they spend a whole post answering those questions. I am not really an established anything, but I figure, why not try to get some readers by answering questions from Twitter and Facebook? I mean, this can’t possibly go wrong, can it?

…Let’s just hope it doesn’t.

 

First we have Alli, calling in from Dragon*Con:

What do you love about your favorite superhero?

To start, I must establish who my favorite superhero is. It’s pretty easy, though: Superman. From a really realistic point of view, he’s my favorite because he’s really the only one I was ever really exposed to growing up, and as much as I’ve tried, I’ve never liked Batman. This is rough, because my friends tend to–rather overwhelmingly–prefer Bats way over Supes.

I’m really fond of the whole Truth, Justice, and the American Way thing. Even if I’d hope that the definition of “the American Way” has changed since Superman’s creation, I want him to stand for the ideal of our country. But I also love him because I identify with him. He’s an outsider, someone who has to work to blend in with the rest of the world to protect himself. I’ve felt like that a lot as a teen and young adult. I’m sure many people do, really; even now, I still feel like that at times.

Also, that curl, yo.

 

Next up is Sara, likely with a baby and at least one pup on her lap:

What did you want to be when you grew up?

So many things! The first occupation I can really remember wanting for myself was teaching. Which is very common, I think, particularly among young girls. Even to this day, I enjoy teaching people things, even if I’m not A Teacher precisely.

In junior high, I wanted to be an Egyptologist. Not just an archaeologist, no, but I wanted to specialize in ancient Egypt. I remember one Halloween I dressed up as one, which really was just me wearing a flannel shirt, khaki shorts, and boots. (God, I loved the mid-90s and fashion’s approval of flannel shirts.)

In my last few years of high school, I wanted to be in forensics. This was when I was super in to The X-Files, and CSI was a new show that really just made forensic science seem so very glamorous and sexy.

Needless to say, none of those things happened. I think now I want to be a writer when I grow up. Also, I don’t want to grow up.

 

Coming in from the west coast is Danielle, who wants to know:

favorite pie?

I must confess, I’m not really a fan of pie. In the building Cake vs Pie wars that are certain to tear our society apart (assuming we still exist after Frosting vs Icing finally ends), I am solidly on Team Cake.

However, I have a couple friends that are pies, and I enjoy eating them. Give me a nice chocolate mousse pie, and I’m yours. If you really want me to consider my allegiances, bust out a peanut butter cup pie and watch me question everything I know about the superiority of cake.

 

Then we have Carla, my very own mother, doing her elder daughter a solid:

I just read a novel (The Night of the Comet by George Bishop) in which the comet, Kohoutek, was a leading “character”. Do you think it’s true that the appearance of a comet to us earthlings leads to tragic events?

Interesting! Well, from a very literal standpoint, I do not think it’s true that a ball of ice in space millions of miles away can directly cause doom here on our little planet just because we see it in the sky. If it did, what if we all just decided to stop looking up at the sky so we could avoid seeing things? Would that fix everything? Or what if we all just agreed to act like that bit of fuzz wasn’t suddenly there, or had been there the whole time? Would the comet know?

The fact is, though, that we are humans, and if humans can be counted on for anything, it’s to take something different or unusual or unexplained and lose our collective shit over it. So in that sense, it’s absolutely true that in the past, when a comet’s appearance had no real explanation, humanity knew that THE END IS NEAR and did some bad stuff because they were freaking out. And that means that the next time a comet appeared, everyone knew what happened LAST time, so they figured correlation = causation and decided to freak out all over again. And then you’ve got the opportunistic jerks of the world who use this kind of situation to do some bad stuff so they can just blame it on the comet.

Basically, humans are dumb. I’d like to say we’re smarter now, but instead of freaking out over comets, we freak out over race and religion and sexual orientation.

 

Finally, we have Becca, my sister, who just wants me to talk about how awesome she is:

When did you realize your little sister was so awesome?

How excited are you to have such an awesome sister?

On a scale of awesome to awesomest, how would you rate your sister?

FOR REAL THO, I love my sister. She is funny and clever and caring and tweets about pooping a lot. The only bad thing about her is that she lives across the state, but really I can’t blame her for geography, and I am glad she’s not across the country! She’s pretty awesome, it’s true.

So ends the first edition of #AskKatiegorn! I’m thinking I’ll do this on a monthly basis. Your comments and thoughts are always most welcome!